Slipping Away
by Fresley
Summary: .GSR. I, Sara Sidle, formally resign from my position as a Crime Scene Investigator . . . After the events in Butterflied Sara gives up on Grissom. Will he let her go without a fight? Complete
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Too Late

Rating: G

Pairing: GSR

Spoilers: Butterflied

Genre: Romance/Angst

Sara didn't know why she was there, watching the interrogation of Dr. Lurie, She had felt pulled there almost against her will. She looked at Grissom watching him through the glass. He looked so tired. There was a part of here that wanted so much to reach out and smooth the pain and the worry from his eyes. Though she knew that would- could- never happen. The interrogation seemed to be coming to a close, but when Dr. Lurie was standing in the door way Grissom started to speak, and Sara's breath caught in her throat. "Its sad isn't it Doc," His voice, quiet yet distinct rang out into the room, "Guys like us. A couple of middle aged men who've allowed their work to consume there lives."

He looked down seeming to examine his hands with extreme precision, "The only time we ever touch other people is when we're wearing our latex gloves."

Deep inside Sara felt something break within her. A barrier against the emotions she had held for so long. "We wake up one day and realize that for fifty years we haven't really lived at all." He looked up and though his face was a mask to his emotions, his eyes burned with something she had never seen before, "Then all of a sudden we get a second chance, someone young and beautiful shows up. Someone we could care about, she offers us a new life with her"  
Sara took a step closer to the glass barrier that stood between them, he couldn't see her, couldn't know she was there, in her mind she knew this, but she wanted to be closer to him all the same.

She held her breath as he spoke the next words, "But we have a big decision to make, right? Because we have to risk everything we've ever worked for to have her. I couldn't do it." He glanced away for a mere second but Sara saw something in his eyes, something like regret.  
Grissom's eyes connected with Dr. Lurie's, "But you did. You risked it all. And she showed you a wonderful life, didn't she. But then she took it away and gave it to someone else.  
So you took her life. You killed them both. "

He paused seeming to look into himself, and then he spoke so low that Sara could barely hear him, "And now you have nothing." Dr. Lurie scoffed, as he smiled scornfully at Grissom, "I'm still here." "Are you?" Those two words seemed to reverberate around the room as Dr. Lurie's face hardened and he walked away.

Sara watched - her face a mask to the pain and confusion struggling within her, as Grissom's head sagged against his chest in defeat, and heard his sigh barely audible.  
He looked up suddenly, seeming to stare directly into her eyes, though she knew he could not see her. She looked back at him a connection seeming to have been formed between them. They stayed that way for a long, long time.

She heard his words again in a corner of her mind, "I couldn't do it"  
and she turned, breaking the connection between their eyes, and walked away, and sitting in that chair in the cold interrogation room

Gil Grissom felt a sense of loss run through him as he wondered once more if it was too late.  
-  
June 12, 2004 I, Sara Sidle, formally resign from my position as a Crime Scene Investigator . . .  
-  
"I couldn't do it. . . "  
"And now you have nothing"  
"I'm still here"  
"Are you?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Slipping Away

Chapter 1: Anchored

_I'm tongue tied and waiting hoping and praying lying beside you longing to touch you. But this, feels like the end. _

_I'm so tired, we are drifting to far. Eyes close, inside me thinking there might be some way but this feels like the end. _

_What went wrong? I need to know. I can feel your letting go, though there is so much to say I'm tongue tied… hmmm. . I'm waiting. . . hmmm. . . hmmm.. . I'm tongue-tied and waiting, hoping and praying, so near yet so far alone together still this feels like the end. . . still this. . . Feels like the end. . . hmmm. . . oh. . . feels like… feels like the end. . ._

_Feels Like the End- Song By AquaLung_

The paper fell from Gilbert Grissom's shaking hand as if in slow motion. Had it really come to this? Dear God, had he – in some way- pushed her to this? There was something pressing inside him – telling him to find her, to talk to her, to do _something, _damn it!

Only he couldn't, he was anchored to his seat by the fear that even if he did tell Sara everything he felt -everything he had held so tightly inside him for so long- that she might still leave and that what she had once felt towards him no longer existed.

After she left would he ever see her beautiful face again? Hear her voice? Her laugh?

He sat there staring fixedly at his hands- trembling even as they clenched so tightly that the nails carved half-moons into the surface of his calloused palms.

All Sara Sidle knew was that she had been waiting for him for more then five years and she couldn't do it any longer.

She looked at Grissom across the break room to where he was studiously ignoring her. What had she been thinking? That he would chase after her? Sweep her into his arms and kiss her with the passion told only in Shakespearean tales? That had been a silly fantasy, and one that she knew would never come to pass. . . and yet. . . she still held a small bit of hope that maybe. . . but it was silly and foolish to think of these things.

"Do you feel anything for me Grissom?" she hadn't intended to speak but the words escaped in a breathy whisper anyway, "Tell me you love me and I swear I'll stay. . . I swear it."

Grissom turned as if he had heard her even though that was impossible, he was on the other side of the room and she had barely said those words loud enough for she herself to hear them. His eyes caught hers and there was such pain reflected there that she had to look away. _'How can I leave him?' _The thought rocketed through her mind and steadily burned a hole into her heart, for a mere second she nearly gave into the thought, but she quickly dismissed it. Her course was set and baring some miracle (during which Grissom would get down on his knees, beg her to stay, admit his undying love yada yada yada) she would be leaving at the end of her two weeks here.

As far as her planning went after she left she would never see Gil Grissom again. Sara ignored the sharp pain that lanced through her heart at the thought.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2: Empty Eyes

_One can no more keep the mind from returning to an idea then the sea from returning to the shore.- Unknown_

Sara woke with a jolt, dapples of sunlight dancing crazily over her bedspread as dribbles of sweat streamed down her face. Angrily she yanked the covers of her perspiring body, hitting the floor with a satisfying thud. She cursed under her breath as her feet hit the chilled wooden floor.

In her dreams she had been inside the interrogation room once again only on the inside on this time Grissom had said it again: "I couldn't do it" and then "I'll never do it- I'll never love you…" "Leave, I don't care. I never did. .. ." She could remember the way he had looked at her as he had said the words. Cold. Empty. His eyes, a frozen blue. A way that -in reality- Grissom had never looked at her. In the way she feared he one day would.

Slowly she padded into the bathroom, turning on the faucet, she cupped her hands filling the with the cold water, relishing the icy shock as she splashed it against her face.

The water still running she stared at her reflection in the mirror. A frown carving deep grooves in her face. She touched her sleep tousled hair wit a still damp hand. Smoothing it back, she chanced a glance at the clock: It was almost 3 hours before she was expected at work. Sighing she grabbed a brush off the counter and began to violently yank it through her thick wavy locks- grimacing as it ripped painfully through the snarls. Staring into the mirror she made up her mind: she had to get Gilbert Grissom out of her mind and to do that she needed to say goodbye. For good.

Slowly she set down the brush – her hair now tangle free and her scalp tingling from its violent abuse. As she turned off the faucet and clicked off the light she admitted to herself that while she could get Grissom out of her head getting him out of her heart was another matter entirely.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 3: Giving in to Sadness

_Just because it is the end of the beginning doesn't mean it is the beginning of the end. - AquaLung _

Sara having just arrived at work walked with determination to Grissom's office. She rapped twice on his door- when no answer came she sigh and turned on her heel to go, "He's on leave." Sara spun at the voice coming from behind her – it was Maggie Warden, the matronly secretary for the day shift.

Sara looked at the woman in confusion: in all the years she had known Grissom he had rarely taken any leave (even then it was usually for a forensics conference or the cockroach races) Maggie had continued to speak at Sara's befuddled look, "Oh Ecklie was yammering on about it for ages this morning . I tell you, if I didn't need this job I'd walk up to that blasted fool of a man and give him a piece of my mind." She glanced around nervously and then continued in a much quieter voice, "But let's keep that between us, my dear." Sara smiled at the now flustered woman, "Of course Mrs. Warden." Needless to say she quite shared those feelings with the woman.

"Oh, do call me Maggie, my dear!" "Thank you, Maggie. You can call me Sara if you like." "I will indeed call you Sara, it is such a lovely name."

"Maggie, you don't happen to know when Grissom will be back, do you?" Sara held her breath as she awaited Maggie's answer, "Oh, about two weeks, Dear. All us girls figure he's trying to get away, you know from your leaving and all. I mean you two have been in love for ages. There's been more then one bet placed on two of you. . ." During Maggie's overflow of words Sara's face had slowly crumpled, her breath now coming in short gasps, her knees seemingly unable to support her weight. Maggie must have realized the blow that her words had given Sara, for she bustled over to the heartbroken woman and with a gentle hand led her into an office that was empty save for storage and a few chairs.

"Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry – my late husband Herbert always did say that once my mouth started running you just couldn't stop it without divine help. Its only that you and Mr. Grissom seem to be meant for each other. . ." at those words Sara's resolve snapped and the tears that she had been holding back for so long poured from her. Heart wrenching sobs were torn unwillingly from her mouth. Sara's whole body trembled at the sudden release of her pain in this sudden purge of her tears.

Maggie looked at the heartbroken girl – she had always liked Sara, even if they had not had the chance to know each other well. As a bit of a romantic she had taken a certain amount of interest in Sara and Grissom's relation ship. Though, even some of the denser employees here acknowledged the feelings between the two. Heck, even Hodges knew! The only one who didn't know about those two was probably Ecklie, though with the looks those two gave each other at times she wouldn't be surprised if even that old stick in the mud knew!

All through this series of thought Maggie had been comforting the stricken Sara now it seemed that Sara was calming down Maggie took a risk and asked her, "What ever happened between the two of you, Honey?" for a second she fear that Sara was going to cry again, but then watery brown eyes met her own and Sara said in a broken whisper, "He used to call me that you know." Maggie saw the pain clearly in Sara's eyes as the girl whispered again, "Used to."

"I tried to tell him, to tell him how I felt, but he wouldn't let me!" She seemed to rile with anger for a moment but just as quickly her anger vanished and she was a scared little girl again, "He said he couldn't do it!" It was spoken very softly, but her eyes were full of pain and panic as if she were about to bolt, she spoke again, louder now, her voice raw from tears, "I-I just wanted. . ." she swallowed and tried again, "All I wanted was to say goodbye." Maggie looked at the girl across from her before gently pulling the broken woman into her arms. "Oh, my poor child. . ." It was enough- quiet sobs again racked Sara's weary body as she was held in Maggie's motherly embrace.

Maggie knew, with more surety then ever that something had to be done about Sara Sidle and Gilbert Grissom.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 4: Never Mine

_I'm waiting . . . hmm . . . hmm. . . I'm tongue-tied and waiting, hoping and praying, so near yet so far, alone together, still this feels like the end. . . still this feels like the end. . . hmm. . . feels like. . . feels like the end. . ._

_-Aqualung- feels like the end_

Sara cried for a long time, but eventually her tears stopped and her pain was over shadowed by embarrassment for showing her emotions so readily to a relative stranger.

She struggled to contain herself as she pulled from Maggie's comforting arms. "Thank you Maggie-" The silver haired woman smiled at Sara, crinkles forming around her silvery blue eyes, as she interrupted Sara, "Oh no, my Dear! Don't thank me. I just did what any good person would do." She laid a calloused hand on Sara's shoulder "If you ever need to talk again my dear, I'll always have a ready ear." Sara took Maggie's hand and with genuine thanks said, "Thank you, Maggie, I might just take you up on that."

The harsh beeping of Sara's pager broke the silence with its reverberating tones. Grabbing it off her belt Sara sighed in frustration- it was a good thing she had gotten to work early, if she hadn't she would have been in big trouble. "I'm sorry Maggie, it looks like I'm needed in the lab." "That's fine my dear, I should be leaving myself." She looked at Sara who had heaed toward the door, "I do hope that you and your Mr. Grissom sort things out." Sara froze at the door her hand clutching the knob a little too tightly, "I'm afraid, Maggie, that he's not my Grissom. Nor will he ever be." And then Sara opend the door letting it shut with a muffled click.

"Oh, child," Maggie said to the empty room, "He belongs more to you then to anyone else in the world." Collecting her things she slowly left the room. For the first time in her life Maggie Warden felt every one of her fifty-two years.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: A Chance To Say Goodbye

_I looked away and I looked back at you._

_You tried to say things that you can't undo._

_If I had my way I'd never get over you._

_Today's the day I pray we make it through,_

_Make it through the fall make it through it all._

_-Avril Levine_

Catherine sighed as Grissom hung up on her without even a 'fare thee well'. That was just like him, stubborn, hurting man that he was. She shook her head as she shut her cell phone and clipped it to her belt. Then nodded to Nick, it was time for him to find Sara.

Sara was in the lab as per usual (due to her leaving she had finished up any open cases that were assigned to her and then moved on to paper or lab work) when Nick found her. "Hey, Sara."

Sara looked up from what she was working on as she heard the familiar Texan accent, she replied "Hey, Nick. What is it?" "Do you think you could swing by the break room in about forty-five minutes? I wanted to run some ideas by you on that Macmillan case." "Sure. No problem." "Great, see you then." "Bye."

Nick grinned in satisfaction. His job was almost done. He only wondered if they would able to pull this off, he looked at the assigned jobs list, it had been copied down in haste and so was hard to read.

Job assignments for Sara/Grissom sense knocking mission:

Get Sara there: Nick

Get Grissom there: Catherine

Guard duty (against Ecklie, Hodges and all other minions of the "Dark side"): Greg, Warrick

Nick sighed and shook his head, he had known for along time now how the two felt for each other- he had overheard Sara asking Grissom to dinner one night (had cheered her on in his mind), he had been so sure that Gris would say yes and everything would be perfect. He had done a double take when Grissom said no. Almost wanting to punch the man when he heard the hurt in Sara's voice. . . He only hoped it wasn't to late for them (Not only because he was a big, old fashioned, Texan sap, but he also had a decent amount of cash riding on those two). . . And that if it was to late: He hoped Gris never figured out that he had had a part of this. Damn, he hoped_ Sara_ never found out about it. He shuddered at the very thought.

Sara looked at Nick with raised eyebrows as he glanced nervously at his watch for the fifth time in as many minutes, "Do you have somewhere to be?" She asked, "We can look over this case tomorrow. . ." "No!" Nick cut her off, his voice sounding louder and slightly pinched, "I mean, no." "Nick. . .?" He suddenly looked extremely relieved, "I see Cath. I-I need to ask her something. About, uh, the case! That's right. I-I'll be back really quick. . ." Without waiting for a reaction Nick hustled from the break room. Sara stood and attempted to call him back but he ignored her and practically ran from the room. Sara spun around to face the wall fighting the urge to stomp her feet and flail her arms in a childish tantrum, instead she folded her arms tightly in front of her chest. Then she heard it, "Sara . . ." she spun around, the hairs on the back of her neck rising, her arms falling limply to her sides. Her spine stiffened and her face was covered in a mask that let no emotion through, though her heart was beating so hard that she thought it was going to break through her chest. But when she spoke her voice was so calm that it surprised even Sara herself, "Grissom."

Not even a second after Grissom had walked through the doors of the CSI building Catherine had intercepted him, leading him directly to the break room.

As the reached the door it had swung open, and Nick had exited, holding the door open as he said, "Hey, Gris, we've been missing you 'round here." He fidgeted nervously for a second then turning to Catherine he said, "Hey Cath, can I talk to you for a sec?" it was as if the two were communicating on a different frequency, one that Grissom was unable to decipher, Catherine turned to him saying, "Just go on in Gil, I'm sure this won't take long."

Shrugging off his sudden feeling of suspicion Grissom walked into the room, but was halted in his steps by the sight that met his eyes. Sara. Her back was turned toward him but he knew it was her. Sara. Her short dark hair in curly disarray, her arms folded in front of her. "Sara. . ." Her name fell from his lips and she spun around, her whole body seeming to tense. Her face hardened, eyes shuttered. When she said his name in a politely disinterested voice his greatest fear was realized, she couldn't care about him now. Not after what he had done to her. He wanted to run from the room, but he couldn't move, frozen by the fear that when he looked away she would vanish like smoke blown away by the softest of breezes.

He took an unwilling step forward, his hand stretching out slightly, as if to touch her face, but she shrunk back from him like a skittish doe. He dropped his hand feeling as though struck.

She must have seen something in his eyes because then she was reaching out to him, her hand tightly enclosing his own. Her eyes softened slightly as she looked at him and for a second he thought that he could see tears behind them, but she blinked and they were gone. "I. . ." she said, her words catching in her throat, "I _have_ missed you." It was as if she was admitting it to herself, he realized, and suddenly he felt a blossom of hope begin to grow in his heart, but then she continued to speak and the words she said broke his heart, "I was afraid that I wouldn't get a chance . . ." she looked lost for a second and he tightened his hold on her hand, "A chance to what, Sara?" She looked him in the eye as her silent tears began to fall, "A chance to say _goodbye_ to you, Grissom." He gave in to the emotions bubbling inside him and drew her gently into his arms. It felt right, holding her. A tear of his own fell slowly down his cheek.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: I Guess This Is Goodbye. . .

_Oh, after all this time I never thought we'd be here,_

_Never thought we'd be here, _

_When my love for you was blind _

_And I couldn't make you see it, _

_Couldn't make you see it,_

_That I loved you more then you'll ever know_

_And a part of me died when I let you go. . . _

_Blind - Lifehouse_

Sara could feel the scratchy bristles of Grissom's beard against her cheek as he held her. God, he was holding her! How long had she hoped for this, dreamed of this? And yet as he held her she could feel her heart being torn apart by the love that she clung to with everything in her being.

"Oh God, Grissom." He pulled away at the sound of her voice. His hands still resting on her shoulders, "What's wrong Sara?" "I love you, Grissom!" Stunned Grissom's hands fell from her shoulders. Shock displayed on his features. But Sara misunderstood his reaction, thinking he was repulsed, she continued her voice growing louder, "I love you, Gilbert Grissom, and I have to say goodbye to you and I'll be damned if I know how!"

She had paced away from him during her tirade and now she turned back, walking to him, one hand finding its way to rest against his cheek, she whispered, "Couldn't I kiss you? Just once?" Then without waiting for an answer she moved closer, slowly looking him in the eye, she moved until he could feel her breathe against his lips. In the end he was the one who moved pressing his lips against hers. Softly, sweetly he kissed her and she kissed him back. Then she stepped away from him, her hand making a trail down his cheek. "Tell me Grissom. Tell me and I'll stay." She looked in his eyes and knew that he was not going to say the words she so needed to hear.

"I guess this is goodbye." He said, "Yes," she replied, "I guess so." Then she walked to the door her hand hovering on the handle, hoping he would stop her. Hoping.

But then she was turning the handle and opening the door, "Sara wait!" Sara turned, her eyes meeting Grissom's, pleading with him, "I-I. . ." God he wanted to say it. _She loved him._ She would stay. How, how would he ever make it through with out her? But in the end the words wouldn't come. He cleared his throat and looked away,"When do you leave?" "Once I finish getting my stuff packed up. So, Friday, I guess." Five days, only _five days._

Grissom looked away and when he looked back, she was gone. His hands covered his face as he sank to the floor in despair. _"I love you."_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Far Off

AN: I had to rewrite chapter eight (the previous one just didn't mesh, and I was unable to continue the story if it had been left as it was.) and it is totally different.So the greg angle is totally gone. . . it might come back into play later in the story but I doubt it. . . Thanks guys, for all the awesom reviews!

_To think I don't have her, to feel I have lost her here in the vast night, more vast without her. . . . What does it matter that I coud not keep her? The night is fractured and she is not with me. That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off my soul is not content to have lost her. – Pablo Neruda _

The sound of the doors shuddering click, as it closed behind her surprised Sara. She had left him there. She knew she would never go back. She couldn't. She felt bent and broken, but Sara knew she could stay here no longer. She knew what to do.

Grissom had yet to move from where he had fallen after Sara's departure. Staring glassy eyed at the door where he had last seen her. His hands twisted together, mind whirling.

He had loved her for a long time. He knew it now. He had known it when he let her leave. Why couldn't he say it? How could he let her go?

He felt, suddenly, as though he were seeing into the future; he was old, alone, angry, bitter, and still somewhere in his heart in love with Sara still. Sara, he could almost see her, her dark hair now streaked with white and grey, holding a child in her arms, her grandchild. He could see her husband lean in to kiss her, and he could see her smile against his lips.

But then the scene changed, he was there as her husband kissing her lips and tousling their grandchild's hair.

The air left his lungs in a shuddering breath and the image fractured, and dissolved. He wanted the second. With everything in him he wanted to be by Sara's side for the rest of his life. He knew what to do.

"Where is Sara?" Catherine turned at hearing Grissom's voice, "Tell me now, Catherine!" Okay, this Grissom was positively scary, and Catherine (for once) was at a loss for words. She pointed in the direction she had seen Sara go. She was starting to worry that something had gone wrong in her little scheme. Grissom jetted in the direction she was pointing. Now she was wondering if perhaps something had gone right. She grinned.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: The Light Of A Distant Sunrise

_How long have I stood here beside you? I looked through you, you looked through me. . . _

_Ohh, solitude, I can't stay away from you. . . How many times have I done this to myself how long will it take before I see. . . when will this hole in my heart be mended? Who now is left alone, but me. . . Oh, solitude forever me and forever you. . oh solitude only you. . . only true. . . everyone leaves me stranded, forgotten abandoned left behind. . . _

_- Evanescence, Solitude_

Where was she! Grissom felt as though he had searched every hall and corridor twenty times over. He turned the next corner and bumped into Ecklie as the man was coming out of his office. Grissom just glowered as he waited for the diminutive man to pass. But Ecklie didn't move, instead it appeared he was in the mood for a chat. "Why, Grissom," he said with a small sly quirk of his thin lips, "whatever could bring you down to this corner of the lab?" '_I'm not in the mood for this, Ecklie,'_ thought Grissom, folding his arms in an 'I don't know, you tell me' gesture.

"You know," said Ecklie "I think I do know why you're here." Grissom raised an impatient eyebrow, "I think your going to ask me why CSI Sidle was just here to see me." Grissom's eyes widened, and he suddenly spoke, "Tell me now, Conrad!" it came out as a partial growl, and Ecklie took a step back.

He spluttered forth the next words, and thrilled at the look that crossed Grissom's face, "She's not coming back. She said that "due to personal reasons" she wanted to leave early. I was. . ." he smirked,"only to happy to comply." Grissom's face hardened and when he spoke his voice was rough and harsh, "Where is she now?" Ecklie was bewildered by the morass of emotions crossing Grissom's face, "Gone." "Gone where!" Ecklie spluttered, "How in the name of all that's holy am I supposed to know!" The last word had barely crossed his lips when Grissom walked quickly into the distance. "Well, _I_ always knew that man was crazy." Ecklie then shrugged and walked off.

Before he himself knew it he was in his car driving with purpose toward Sara's apartment. Doubts clung to him like the perspiration that was beaded on his brow, but he pushed them away from him with the memory of Sara's kiss. He knew he wanted to feel her lips on his again.

He swerved madly into a parking spot in front of her apartment. Next to his car a UHaul truck was parked.

He could remember the last time he had been here,

"_Grissom! What are you doing here?" Sara said, slightly flustered, "Well, I figured I could help you move in." Sara's face brightened, "Thanks! Come on in." _

The memory shimmered and faded leaving him standing at her front door, doubt flooding his mind, washing over him in waves, but then as he was on the brink of letting that doubt drive him away, another memory played out in front of his eyes,

_Her fingers brushed gently at his cheek, and he started, looking up into her eyes, wondering if he had imagined the tenderness there. She cleared her throat, muttering something about "chalk dust", then ducking inside. His hand moved to his cheek, rubbing at it and wondering at the lack of chalk dust there. . ._

Had that truly been so many years ago? Had it truly been so few? He stood there staring at the door, Sara's door, for a long time, just remembering. But his thoughts were interrupted as the door swung open with the slight groaning of hinges. And then there was Sara; her face drawn and swathed in light of a distant sunrise as she said his name. "Grissom."

TBC

A/N: Hey guys, thanks for all the awesome reviews (the more reviews the faster I post, hint hint. . . ) this is my first CSI story, not to mention my first multiple chapter story so any advice would be extremely appreceated. Well, thanks again yall,

Fresley


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: In His Arms

Promise you'll stay with me

Oh you don't have to ask me, you know you're all that I live for

You know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you

Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky

I've always been right behind you

Now I'll always be right beside you – You By Evanescence

Sara looked at Grissom. Her arms nearly failing to support the weight of the box in her arms.

"Grissom. . ."

She wished that her voice was stronger and prayed that he did not hear the tremble in it,

"What are you _doing_ here?"

"I. . . Can we talk inside Sara?"

She pursed her lips her determination coming back to her now in sudden force,

"No, Grissom. You can say what you need to say right here." when it looked as though he might protest she continued, "Or you can leave."

He nodded resigned, as if he had suspected she would say as much.

"Sara. . ." he started his voice catching on her name.

"Just say it Grissom, I really don't have time for this."

He stepped back, hurt by her words, not only because of the force behind them but also because he knew he deserved it. He closed his eyes and without thinking said the first thing that came to mind,

"I don't want you to go."

Sara rolled her eyes,

"Why Grissom? Because the _lab_ needs me?"

"No!"

she was surprised by the force behind his words,

"No, Sara. Its because I - I . . ."

His voice petered out, and then he whispered,

"I need you."

Sara's breath caught, as she whispered,

"Why Grissom?"

He looked up with questions in his eyes,

"Why do you need me?"

His breathing came hard and fast,

"Because I can't live without you . . . I love you, Sara."

The box fell from Sara's hands, crashing to the ground and scattering clothing everywhere, Sara barely noticed. Her hand covered her face her fingers trembling against her lips.

"Sara. . ."

She was reaching out to him. Suddenly Grissom knew what to do. Stepping over Sara's belongings he gently guided Sara into her apartment. Shutting the door behind them, he turned and face her gathering her into his arms and holding her there for an eternity of seconds, letting her sob into his shoulder. Slowly Sara came back to herself, moving away from Grissom just enough to look him in the eye.

"Say it again."

Her face was skeptical, as if she thought she had imagined his earlier words,

" I love you, Sara."

As he said it his hand drifted up to caress her cheek, Sara smiled and leaned her face until his hand molded around it.

"I'm staying, Grissom."

A soft prayer of thanks fell from Grissom's lips, as he leaned forward and slowly pressed his lips to hers. She sighed against his lips and then pulled back to see that Grissom eyes were still closed. Reaching up once more, with both hands, she traced the contours of his face, running her fingers over the bristles of his beard, memorizing the sight and feel of him. There were a thousand things to be said, but this was not the time, this was the time for being in his arms. She smiled once more and then buried her face in his shirt. Held tightly in his arms, relishing the sent of her hair. She smiled loving him, being loved by him, they might fight, but at the end of the day this was where she belonged, warm, safe, _loved_, and held in his arms. She sighed his name, "Gil. . . I love you." and Grissom's heart beat just a little faster.

**The End**

A/N: Hey guys! Wow, you made it to the sappy end! Okay now, I'm thinking about writing a sequel. . . if I get more then 30 reviews on this story I will. Now. . . Review! You know ya love me : )

Fresley


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